When it comes to my tween and teen talking almost, I am at a loss. All the questions.
Fortunately, I have a village of wise women throughout the country six incredible women, smart and beautiful creating (or that have generated) children – fold for answers and they stepped up to fill the silence.
7 (real) tips and techniques on how to tie the good things of children
1. Be there on your terms.
“Be prepared to listen even when you don’t feel like. Most of the time, do not want to talk. When they come home babbling, drop everything and listen. Even if you are dealing with the most important things – to get them out. I open the window let go once in a while and you can hit shut down quickly (even before you finish your another important task). “~ Kari linter, Laporte, Co.
2. Open your ears and close the mouth.
“You need to know to keep your mouth closed for most of the conversation. The child needs to talk. You need to hear it. Sometimes I tell my daughter (with my heart breaking on everything that was causing her pain), ‘you know, it’ IL pass. Sometimes you just have to hold on and wait, and things get melhores. ‘and I feel so wise and useful. Then finally, one night, she said, “you know, mother, you always say that. And I don ‘t want to hurt his feelings, but, honestly? It does not help at all. When things are really bad, it makes you feel better knowing that a day late will not be bad. I think that would help me if I’m wrong now? ” I was shocked. “~ Michelle Herman, Columbus, oh.
3. Put on trial and model.
“I have great expectations and respect for my children. I hope that with them in return. Do not pass or try to control them. Give them the freedom to explore their worlds and make mistakes. They learn from their mistakes. When they fall down, I do not judge, but strive to be open and accepting. I ‘IL give you space to be the best they can be. The best way to keep channels of communication open is to let go when you can and at the same time, let them know that they can tell you nothing. ”
~ Laura myln, Portland, or
4. Be where the action is and listen when they are talking to you.
“I made it a priority to be a driver for sporting events (carrying a load of children) and a date for school trips and host of many Pajama Party and parts pre dance. So, I can ‘t hear what the children are talking. To have some idea of what the problem is, du jour will come in handy. So I casually (not making eye contact – they are more comfortable talking in the car or while watching TV) bring something funny, “I heard someone say and usually becomes a catalyst to talk.”
~ Kari o ‘Driscoll, Seattle, WA
5. Get silly with them.
“Let it be super goof with Tween / teen. Many times, then we make nonsense and laughing our heads, my daughter will tell me about something that really bothers her. ”
~ Kelly Moyer, Portland, or
6. Make a positive experience for them.
“I must build a positive association around him and help them learn to recognize your own ability to communicate well, reflecting back the qualities that you see. My daughter and I always had ‘heart to heart’ talks while we put in the dark before sleep. There has been some conversations that set a milestone for the connection. After the first, when she was still very young, I said, “that was a great conversation and I appreciate the way you talked about _. Now, years later, she is not very receptive or resisting actually speaking, at the right moment. Can say, ‘when I’ m ready I would love to have one more of our conversas. ‘”
~ Prema Nihan, Houston, TX
7. I know that you don’t have to have all the answers (or they).
“One of my favorite things that my son, and I would like to know more, is the answer to a question by saying something very real, that is, don ‘t know. Like, “I don ‘t know why I’ m so angry with you, but I feel louco. ‘I think we all need permission to say,’ I don’t know so. ‘”
~ Monica Holloway, Los Angeles, C